


Gonna, Wanna, Can't

by sagely_sea



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 05:03:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13651983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagely_sea/pseuds/sagely_sea
Summary: Shishido is in love with Oshitari Yuushi. He's just really bad at saying it.





	Gonna, Wanna, Can't

**Author's Note:**

  * For [balloyarn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/balloyarn/gifts).



> Balloyarn sent me a lovely Christmas card and in it was a quote that inspired the muses. Plus, it's always fun to torment Shishido a little.
> 
> “The more you love someone, he came to think, the harder it is to tell them. It surprised him that people didn’t stop strangers in the street to say I love you.” Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer

Shishido sped up as the couple walking their dog finally passed them and fell back in beside Oshitari. He had been surprised when Oshitari had actually agreed to come out and do some extra training with him. He had heard about this nice jogging path that went through a couple parks and along the river and thought Oshitari might want to join him. He hadn’t really been holding his breath though. He might like to put in extra training in the evening and before school but Oshitari was a bare minimum sort of guy. 

He doubted Oshitari had agreed because he finally got unlazy and wanted to work out harder. Shishido was actually pretty sure that Oshitari was only here because of him and that he promised they could go out to eat after and he wouldn’t even complain if Oshitari picked an okonomiyaki place again. 

He smiled as he looked over at Oshitari and as Oshitari looked back at him and smiled, too, Shishido was hit with something even harder than one of Ohtori’s serves. 

He loved him. 

He, Shishido Ryou, was head over heels in love with Oshitari Yuushi. 

It shouldn’t have been a surprise. They’d been going out for over a year now. He had feelings for Oshitari. Deep, intense, don’t you dare look at him he’s mine kind of feelings. But love?!

He was so surprised by the revelation that he tripped over his own feet and went flying off the running path and into the long grass that grew along the slope leading down toward the river.

Could have been worse. At least he didn’t actually fall into the river. Or like trip and go flying into traffic only to get hit by a semi-truck and die before he could tell his romantic idiotic boyfriend that he loved him. That would have sucked. 

“Ryou! Are you okay?!” Oshitari’s breathless and slightly panicked voice floated down toward him and pulled him back into reality. 

He was panting hard and he was sure his rapid heartbeat wasn’t just from the running and adrenaline from his fall. He looked around but all he could see was the tall grass surrounding him and his hat that had somehow got caught up in the grass. 

He heard the stomping down of the grass and some curses and then Oshitari, looking all handsome, sweaty and concerned, was all that he could see. 

“H-hey,” Shishido said, feeling heat rise in his cheeks. This was the first time he was looking at Oshitari knowing fully that he loved him. And of course it was right after he tumbled off the path like some lameass. 

“Hey yourself. Do you think you can sit up? Is anything sore?” Oshitari asked. He held out his hand for Shishido to take and then seemed to think better of it and knelt down beside him and started gently patting him down. 

“Uh….” He normally didn’t mind when Oshitari finally stopped talking and got handsy. But they were in public. And while the grass was tall he doubted it or the slope would keep joggers from noticing them. “What are you doing?” 

“Checking for injuries. There’s no blood, that’s good,” Oshitari said as he calmly ran his hands around Shishido’s head. At least he’d stopped pawing at his chest and thighs. 

“I feel fine. Maybe a couple bruises but the grass cushioned the fall.” 

“You’re lucky it was just grass here and not any hidden rocks. What happened?” He grabbed both of Shishido’s hands and tugged him up into a sitting position. 

“Don’t know. One minute I was fine, the next I was flying. Maybe something in the path tripped me up?” He was in no way going to tell Oshitari that thoughts of being in love with him startled him so much that he went careening off the path. And if he was blushing, and he was pretty sure he was, he was just going to blame it on the embarrassment of tripping. 

“Hmmm... It is starting to get dark. It could have been easy to miss something. How about we cut this workout short?” Oshitari asked as he continued pulling Shishido up to his feet, careful to keep him from overbalancing and stumbling down rest of the way. 

Shishido gave a chuckle and after pausing a bit longer than needed to get his bearings in Oshitari’s arms, stepped back to rescue his hat from the grass. “I think you just want to get out of a full workout,” Shishido countered. 

Though as he moved to get his hat, he could feel a few tender spots protesting. Maybe a hot shower and an early night was a better idea than tormenting Oshitari. 

“Always. But in this case, I have a good excuse. I’d much rather pamper you and tend to your bruises.” Oshitari all but purred that last bit and it sent delicious tingles down Shishido’s body that pooled at his crotch. 

“Your parents home?” Shishido asked. He started making his way carefully up the slope, feeling Oshitari’s hands on him from time to time to make sure he didn’t lose his balance again. Or to feel up his ass. Not that Shishido was complaining about either. 

“Yes. And my sister is out, too.” 

That was promising. Shishido turned to look at Oshitari as he got back on the level jogging path and held out his hand to help him up the last little bit. “Okay. I guess you can pamper me… then I’ll make sure you get another workout.” 

Oshitari laughed and raised their joined hands up to give Shishido’s a quick kiss. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Shishido could feel his cheeks heat again at the romantic and affectionate display from Oshitari, loving it but never completely comfortable with it in public. But since the path was pretty empty and it was getting darker, he let their hands stay linked.

“This is much nicer than running,” Oshitari said after a few minutes of walking in comfortable silence. 

“Yeah. Maybe once and a while. Don’t get used to it,” Shishido said. 

“I suppose I can’t expect you to go easy on me all too often. I’d get spoiled.” 

Shishido laughed and nodded. “Damn right.” 

They slipped back into a comfortable silence, the lights of the park they were headed to drawing closer. “You know… I was thinking,” Shishido started. 

“Oh, that’s dangerous,” Oshitari teased. 

And while the teasing should have made Shishido rethink his love confession, it just made his heart skip a beat. They were holding hands, alone on a pretty nice path by the river, nobody else in sight. It was the perfect time. And then he could tease Oshitari for almost ruining the mood of it when he was supposed to be the romantic one. It was perfect. 

“Not this time. You’ll like it.” 

“Like I enjoyed your thirty days to 100 push-ups challenge?” Oshitari asked. 

“Ha ha. Very funny. And you managed 100 at the end of the month just like I said you would. So don’t diss it. And you enjoyed every milestone reward you reached that month, too.” And Shishido had learned to never let Oshitari set his own rewards because while not all of them had been sexual rewards, they somehow all could make him blush and fidget if he thought too long about any of them. 

“That’s true. It almost makes me want to agree to another one of your sadistic challenges.” 

“Something to think about. But that’s not what I was gonna say.” Shishido had to get this conversation back on track. They were almost at the park and they wouldn’t have any privacy until they reached Oshitari’s house once they did. 

“Of course. I’m all ears.” 

“I love -” Shishido had almost said those three important words but then it was like wires got crossed in his brain and his mouth was moving without his heart’s or brain’s input and something totally different came out. “that okonomiyaki place we went to last time. Think we can swing by and pick something up on the way?” 

Oshitari smiled at him, as if Shishido’s love and approval of Kansai cuisine was the best gift he could have given him that evening. Hell, for all Shishido knew, it could have been. Osaka people, in his experience with Oshitari, his cousin, and rest of his family, were a really odd bunch. 

“That sounds perfect. I knew all that complaining about eating too much cabbage when we’re together was just bluster. Nobody can resist the perfection of Osaka cooking for long,” Oshitari said. He then let go of Shishido’s hand as they entered the park and headed over to the water fountain to get a drink. 

Shishido watched him and gave a wistful sigh. There was something perfect from Osaka he couldn’t resist but it wasn’t the cooking.

He’d just enjoy rest of the night, regroup and tell Oshitari his feelings tomorrow. It’s not like his feelings were going anywhere. 

-0-0-0-0-0-

“When’s your next entrance exam?” Shishido asked Oshitari as he re-entered his bedroom with a tray of tea and snacks. Shishido had already made himself comfortable sprawled on Oshitari’s bed but rolled off of it and onto the floor by the small table at the look Oshitari gave him. Yeah yeah, no eating in bed. He’d heard that one often enough. 

“In two weeks. And it’s thankfully the last one. It’s also the one to the school I most want to get into,” Oshitari said as he passed Shishido his tea. 

“Thanks. And I’m sure you’ll do great. You’re a genius after all.” 

“I still need to revise a little. The competition is going to be hard.” 

“I’m so glad I’m just going to Hyoutei University. But I can’t believe you’re abandoning me,” Shishido said with a fake amount of drama to his voice. 

“Hyoutei doesn’t have a department of medicine and I’m hardly abandoning you to the wilds. You’re going to be going to school with your two best friends. You’ll probably even have a lot of the same classes in your first year.”

Shishido smiled. Yeah, it would be pretty cool to keep going to school with Gakuto and Jirou. Even if they were a pain in his ass sometimes they were still his best friends and always had his back. “Okay. I love the two idiots but I’d still trade them both in for you.” Shishido blinked as he realized he just confessed his love to his two friends but hadn’t said it to Oshitari yet. That was awkward. He hid behind his cup as he took a sip but it didn’t seem Oshitari noticed anything odd about what he said. 

“No you wouldn’t,” Oshitari said with a chuckle. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Well, I’d think about it.” But they both knew Shishido was too loyal to his friends to throw any of them under the bus. Even if that bus was being driven by Oshitari. And now Shishido was thinking about what Oshitari would look like in a bus driver’s uniform… or handling that large gear stick… and Shishido yanked his mind away from the set up of a bad bus themed porno starring Oshitari and himself before he got carried away. Thoughts like that were for at home in the privacy of his bedroom or the shower. Not drinking tea with Oshitari. 

“I have something better for you to think about.” 

Shishido nearly choked on his tea before he remembered that Oshitari couldn’t actually read his mind even if it often seemed like it. Oshitari was talking about Gakuto and Jirou, not Shishido’s bus fantasies. 

“Yeah, what is it?” He reached for a pack of cheese crackers and opened them up. 

“I was thinking we could move in together.” 

Shishido blinked at Oshitari and waited for him to make a joke or laugh. But Oshitari just met his stare with a sincere expression. 

“Isn’t it a bit uh… soon for that?” Shishido asked. Moving in seemed like a big step. 

“We’ve been friends for six years and we’ve been dating for nearly two. I think it’s the logical next step,” Oshitari said. 

Two years? Shishido had to think a moment about that because he considered them to have just been dating for over a year. But if Oshitari was counting from when he started inviting Shishido over and out on what Oshitari considered dates and Shishido considered hanging with a friend instead of when they first kissed, it was definitely close to two years. Even going by their first kiss, Shishido realized it was closer to two than one.

Wow. Where did the last year go? In a few months they’d be graduating and on their way to university. 

“But wouldn’t it be weird to move out when our parents live so close to the university?” Shishido’s parents made enough so the family lived comfortable lives but they were nowhere near as affluent as some of his classmates. His parents would help him cover university costs but there was no way they could afford an apartment for him on top of that. 

“My university is going to be further out past Hyoutei so it’s going to be a long commute. And you know how easily I get turned around on public transit.” 

Shishido chuckled. It was true. After six years, Oshitari could still get misplaced if he wasn’t paying enough attention on the commute. “Okay. Fair enough. I guess you actually want to get to your fancy doctor school once and a while.” 

“And I just found out that my father is being reassigned back to a Kansai area hospital. So they’re going to sell the house and move back in May. It’s the perfect opportunity to get an apartment between our two schools. It would cut down both of our commutes and guarantee we see each other every day.” 

Damn. When Oshitari put it that way, it sounded like a nice idea. But there were definitely some obstacles. Like convincing their families. “And it’s going to be a one bedroom place?” 

“If we can find a good two bedroom place the extra room would be great for guests or to use as a study room. But if it’s a well designed and modern one bedroom, I’d be happy with that. Why?” Oshitari asked and then he frowned. “Oh… I see…” 

“It’s not like that,” Shishido quickly said. Though it was definitely like that. He wasn’t ashamed of being gay or dating Oshitari or anything like that. He’d probably be just as awkward talking to his parents about moving in with a girl before they were married. But the fact that Oshitari was a guy made it extra awkward. 

“I’m quite sure it is, Ryou.” 

Oh crap, Oshitari had broken out his name and was giving him that disappointed look. He felt lower than a scuff mark on a tennis court. “They know about you. About us. It’s just… they’re still hoping it’s a phase. I told them it’s not. But yeah…” Shishido was pretty sure that his parents were hoping he’d move on to pretty girls at university and forget about his handsome Osaka boy. 

“Moving in with me would show them it’s not a phase,” Oshitari said, looking a little less disappointed. 

“It’s also a really big flashing sign saying that we’re totally having sex,” Shishido said. And that was definitely the biggest and most awkward part about it. He didn’t want to think about his family’s sex life and he definitely didn’t want them thinking about his. Oshitari’s sister definitely knew, but he liked to think that nobody else had figured it out yet. 

Oshitari laughing didn’t help him with that belief though. “We’ve been dating for two years and we’re horny teenaged boys. Of course we’re having sex. Especially since we can’t get each other pregnant.” 

“There’s still plausible denial. Maybe you just like romance and kissing but are squeamish about sex,” Shishido countered. 

“Me? Squeamish about sex?” Oshitari’s amusement shifted into something predatory and he reached across the small table to run one finger gently down Shishido’s chest. 

Shishido’s breath caught in his throat and he let out a whispered curse. That one light touch did more to him than it had any right to. 

“Should I remind you how un-squeamish I am?” 

Shishido nodded, not trusting his voice to not come out as an embarrassing squeak. 

“Then agree to move in with me. I need to get an apartment anyway. I’m happy to cover the rent,” Oshitari said, squashing one of Shishido’s main arguments.

His pride still hurt a bit. He might not have as much money as Oshitari but he didn’t want to mooch off of him. “That doesn’t seem very fair,” Shishido said, his voice a little strained still. 

“Then pay the utilities and internet bill. You said you wanted to get a part-time job, right?” 

Shishido nodded, though his thoughts were distracted by Oshitari undoing the buttons of his school uniform shirt.

“Perfect. We’ll find a place to call ours. And make it feel like home by having sex in all of the rooms as often as we want,” Oshitari purred out, a devious smirk on his face. 

Damn. That did sound amazing. Right now they saw each other all the time thanks to school and stuff but getting alone time, and then getting private alone time to do more than steal a few kisses and tease each other was tough. “Fine. But the place better not be lame. And has to allow dogs.” He wasn’t going to just abandon his beloved dog for the promise of a shorter commute to school and all the sex he could handle. 

“I knew you’d come around. Now let’s move to the bed and I’ll prove I’m not squeamish.” Oshitari stood and tossed his shirt toward the hamper revealing his toned chest and stomach. 

“Shit. I love when you talk like this.” There was just something about Oshitari’s voice when he was in full seductive mode that went straight to Shishido’s cock and turned off his brain. Because he was pretty sure he had had no intention of moving in with Oshitari at the start of this conversation and now he’d completely agreed to it. 

“I know you do. Now strip. You’re wearing far too many clothes.” Oshitari was already down to his boxer briefs and was digging around in his dresser drawer for what he’d need to prove there wasn’t a squeamish bone in Oshitari’s body. At least when it came to the bedroom.

Not needing to be told twice, Shishido hastily stripped out of his uniform though was careful to lay it out on Oshitari’s desk chair. He had to get home in it and didn’t need it to look like it’d spent time crumpled on the floor. 

As he eagerly hopped up onto the bed and dragged Oshitari down onto it with him, Shishido realized that he’d confessed his love to all sorts of things that afternoon but not to the man in his arms.

He’d just have to show his feelings through actions instead, he decided and pulled Oshitari down into a searing kiss until they were both a bit dazed and breathless. 

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Shishido flopped onto his bed with a long sigh and then blindly reached for his phone on his night stand and opened up Oshitari’s chat window in LINE. 

\- I told them. -

\- Told who what? - 

Came the quick reply from Oshitari followed by a confused looking stormtrooper from a stamp set that Shishido had gifted to him. Mostly because he was sick and tired of seeing cartoon moe girls that Oshitari favoured for some unknown reason. 

Still, as much as he loved Star Wars, Oshitai’s words and stamp caused Shishido to roll his eyes. Did he really forget the major news he had to tell his parents? Oshitari had been dropping not so subtle hints about it for the past two weeks. And they’d even made tentative plans to go look at apartments next Saturday. Which was still totally surreal to Shishido but real enough to make him realize he couldn’t keep putting off telling his parents. 

\- Seriously? I told my parents about the apartment idea. - 

\- Oh! How’d it go? - 

Oshitari followed it up by several stamps, including a concerned looking big eyed girl. Ugh. 

\- Well they didn’t kick me out. Buuuut hard to keep saying it’s a phase I’ll grow out of when we’re gonna be sharing a place - 

His parents didn’t understand why he’d want to live with another boy instead of staying here and spending more time with the lovely Sakura who lived next door. He had to remind them that he’d been dating said boy for two years now and that Sakura didn’t even like dogs so that meant he could never think of her as anything other than lame. 

He’d also pointed out that since Oshitari was covering rent and it’d be closer to university it really was an easy decision to take the plunge. Lack of parental supervision and a shared bed was also a factor but not something he was ever going to bring up in front of his parents. He did not want them thinking about his sex life anymore than they probably already did. 

\- hahaha they’ve really been stuck on the whole it’s a phase thing for forever. Least they’re nice… even if they’re delusional. - 

Shishido chuckled at that and thought back to the last family dinner that Oshitari had been roped into. Oshitari’s reactions to the family dinners always amused Shishido. After the first one where they’d both been understandably nervous, Oshitari was always charming and greatly amused by the random things Shishido’s parents would say to them about their relationship. 

Like it wasn’t cool that they kept hinting that they should go on double dates with girls instead of just with each other. But they always greeted Oshitari with a smile and never banned him from the house. So yeah, even if his parents were a little weird, they could be a lot worse. 

\- Shut up. - 

He sent a laughing stamp after so that Oshitari would know he wasn’t really angry. He just had to be the faithful son to his parents. Sort of. 

\- You were thinking it, too. So we’re gonna move in together? - 

\- Yeah… as long as we can find somewhere nice. I’m not moving into some creepy place. - 

Not that Shishido expected some high class new build with all the shiny high tech toys. But he did have some standards. Though Oshitaro was a bit of a snob when it came to ‘roughing’ it so he probably didn’t have to worry. 

\- As if I’d move into something dilapidated and haunted. Please. - 

Shishido smiled at the reply and sent a thumbs up stamp to Oshitari. Oshitari didn’t immediately reply so he had probably got distracted by something or pulled away by family. 

He tossed his phone onto the bed and then stretched out on the narrow mattress and tried to imagine having a large bed and sharing it with Oshitari every night. Yup. Definitely surreal.

And thinking about what they’d be doing in that bed was making him horny. With a groan, he rolled off the bed and grabbed his tennis bag. He’d do his math homework. That would kill any and all arousal quickly. 

It took him longer to slog through math than he would ever admit but he did finish it. And when he looked back at his phone, it was flashing at him. He climbed back into bed and quickly skimmed through a message from Ohtori and replied and then read what Oshitari had sent him. 

\- Do you want to look at apartments online tomorrow after school? - 

Normally that sort of thing wouldn’t really excite him but this is where he’d be living. With Oshitari. It was important they picked something they’d both be happy in. He didn’t want to have to do a walk of shame back to his parents place because he fought with Oshitari over stupid stuff and decided to move out. 

\- Sure. - 

He sent the thumbs up stamp again and then pondered through some of the other stamps in his collection and sent one that looked like they were working hard at a laptop. And then went back to typing.

\- I’m getting excited about this. -   
\- It’s going to be pretty cool living with you. Doing whatever we want. -   
\- I bet if we find the perfect place that living together is going to be easy -   
Because I love you...

Shishido paused and looked at the last few messages he had sent in a row. And then hastily back spaced the line about love. Oshitari hadn’t read anything after asking his question. Did he get distracted? Did he fall asleep? It was late enough. 

Yeah, sending love messages via LINE when the other person wasn’t paying attention was super lame. Though he was secretly proud of himself for being able to type it out, even if he didn’t send it. 

And sending a love confession via phone message was okay, right? It was just breaking up with people over text that was lame. Maybe both things were… Well it didn’t matter, he’d deleted the message and he’d just tell him in person the next they were alone and the mood felt right.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Shishido rather thought he had the best boyfriend. Oshitari had not only agreed to go to see the Last Jedi with him but he’d even bought the snacks. And no matter how much Oshitari may insist he enjoyed a good space soap opera - which Star Wars was not. It was an intense action movie in space - Shishido still felt rather warm and gooey inside that Oshitari agreed to go to the 3D Imax showing with him anyway. 

As they headed out of the theater and onto the street in search of a cafe that might have seats, Shishido looked over at Oshitari and smiled at him. When Oshitari looked back at him, a smile curving up his lips, Shishido felt those butterflies that always seemed to live in his stomach when he was around Oshitari spring to life. He couldn’t hold it back anymore. He definitely loved this guy. 

“I love porgs!” Shishido yelled out excitedly and then died internally. It was true. He did love porgs and couldn’t see how anyone could eat them. But that was so not what he wanted to say just then.

Oshitari chuckled and brushed his fingers against Shishido’s hands. “Me, too. Though I still think BB8 is the best,” Oshitari said before turning into a cafe. 

It was zero consolation that Oshitari was used to his strange random outbursts of Star Wars appreciation. He really thought he’d manage to express his feelings that time. 

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Club was cancelled because of snow and since none of them were in a hurry to get home, Gakuto suggested karaoke and Jirou woke up to energetically goad them all into agreeing. 

After singing a round of songs, where Shishido merrily sang his way through a Bon Jovi song despite Atobe cringing at his English, Jirou had put in Valentine Kiss. A strange choice but apparently the girls in their class had been talking about it between feeding Jirou all of the pocky. He sometimes wished he was cute and cuddly like Jirou just so he’d get all the free pocky but then he realized he didn’t want to be cute. He wanted to be awesome and sexy so the sacrifice of pocky was worth it. 

“Sing it with me, Shishido,” Jirou said passing him a mic. And without a real objection, and liking to sing, Shishido took the mic and got ready to sing this ridiculous song. 

And it was ridiculous, singing about wanting a boy to like him and see him over the others so instead of just chocolate they’d give them a Valentine’s day kiss, too. He was bopping along to it when he made the mistake of turning to look over at the others. When his eyes caught Oshtari’s the words caught in his throat. 

Shishido stuttered to a stop and froze. How lame was he to not even be able to sing a song with the words ‘I love you’ in it while looking in Oshitari’s direction? Super lame apparently because he still couldn't get his brain and mouth to function properly. 

Gakuto, seeing his chance, quickly took advantage of his distraction and stole the mic out of his hand so he could keep singing with Jirou. Well that certainly snapped Shishido back into reality. And even if he was thankful for Gakuto saving him from himself that didn’t mean he was going to let the mic theft go. He jostled Gakuto and they playfully fought over the mic while shouting out the lyrics. 

By the end of the song, Jirou, Gakuto and himself were doing more yelling and laughing than singing and judging by the cringing looks on everyone else’s faces their rendition of Valentine Kiss wasn’t overly appreciated. 

“Well thank you three for that… interesting rendition. Now let me show you how a master does it. Kabaji,” Atobe said. And Kabaji efficiently plucked the two microphones from them and handed one to Atobe. 

Shishido huffed and sat back down on the couch between Jirou and Gakuto. As Atobe and Kabaji started singing some ballad, where they had surprisingly good harmonization, he snuck glances over at Oshitari. 

Oshitari just grinned at him and shook his head at their antics. Well at least he didn’t seem to have noticed why Shishido suddenly forgot how to sing. Now to just hope that Atobe and Kabaji didn’t inspire Oshitari into putting in some cheesy love ballad and trying to get them to duet. He’d be forced to sacrifice Gakuto to Oshitari if he tried it. 

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

 

Shishido always knew he wasn’t the most romantic guy but being able to share his feelings with his boyfriend shouldn’t be this hard. But he wasn’t one to give up without a fight, even if it seemed hopeless. Maybe he just needed practice. 

Shishido went to the door of his bedroom and looked out to see if any of his family was nearby and then went back in and closed the door. He sat on the bed and called his dog, Dash, up onto the bed beside him. He turned to his furry best friend and took a breath. 

He absently held out his hand, and his dog, being amazingly smart and well trained, put his paw into it. Shishido took a breath and looked into his dog’s eyes and then felt completely stupid. “This is lame. Yuushi and I don’t sit in bed holding hands.” 

Shishido let go of his dog’s paw and stood with a frustrated sound before pacing the room. He still needed practice. Just no hand holding this time and it would be fine. Maybe more casual. It didn’t have to be a super big moment or anything. He wasn’t asking Oshitari to marry him. 

“Hey Yuushi,” Shishido started as he turned to look at his dog. Dash tilted his head at him and wagged his tail a little. Close enough to what he imagined Oshitari would do. “I want you to know… it’s just… I’ve been thinking about it… and” Geeze, he couldn’t even stop rambling like an idiot when it was just him and his dog. 

He flopped onto his bed with a groan. Dash came over to investigate and then licked his face. “Yeah yeah. I love you, too,” Shishido said. And then let out an even louder groan as he threw his hands up over his face. He was hopeless.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

“Argh! I can’t take it anymore,” Shishido groaned. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s bothering you, Shishido-san?” Ohtori asked. Shishido had told him no the last ten times he’d asked the last couple of weeks. But this time Ohtori was hitting him with the full force of his big brown puppy dog eyes. It should not have been possible to give someone such a look when towering above them but somehow Ohtori managed. 

Shishido felt his resolve weaken. 

“Did you and Oshitari-sempai have a fight again?” Ohtori asked with true concern in his voice unlike when Gakuto asked. It had all been teasing and laughing then. 

“No. We didn’t have fight.” Not that it wasn’t a fair question. He was stubborn and a bit wildly passionate about things. And Oshitari was a bit too laid back and acted like he didn’t care about things nearly as much as he did. So it led to more than a few squabbles. So far, about once a year they’d have a big blow out where they would sulk and ignore each other for a few days. 

Shishido wondered if they’d have less or more fights while living together and how hard it would be to resolve them when they couldn’t as easily get space from one another. He guessed that was just one of many things Oshitari and him would have to work out as adults. 

“Then what is it? You’ve been grumbling for weeks now.” 

Shishido sighed and then flopped down onto the bench. “I’ve been having troubles… you know..” He gestured helplessly. 

Ohtori tilted his head as if trying to figure it out and then his eyes went large and he started blushing. Shishido suddenly had the distinct impression that Ohtori had gotten the wrong idea and that he probably should have used some better gestures. 

“Not that!” jumped back to his feet, eager to stop Ohtori before he could ask if he was really having trouble getting it up or something else just as horrifying. “It’s just… I want to tell him how I feel… like really feel. But I keep blurting out stupid things.” He wasn’t going to admit to the random ass things he’d been saying but they’d definitely been bad. 

“Ohhh… Shishido-san, that’s nothing to get upset with. We all get tongue tied sometimes,” Ohtori said giving his shoulder a friendly and encouraging pat. 

That was his partner, always comforting him and giving him support. He’d miss him for the year they were in different schools. Getting together once and a while between classes and clubs just wasn’t the same. 

“It’s more than that. It’s like a giant mental block since I realized just how much I feel for him,” Shishido said. 

“Okay. And how do you feel for him?” 

“I…” Shishido swallowed. He paced a little in front of the lockers before looking back at his friend and partner. This was to Ohtori, it wasn’t even to Oshitari himself and he was having trouble saying it. He’d told Ohtori a hundred times that he loved him and loved being his partner. It should be easier to tell him that he loved someone else. “I….” 

Ohtori gave a small chuckle and then quickly held a hand up over his mouth as if he was startled by his own reaction. “I’m sorry, Shishido-san. It’s just… you can’t even tell me how you feel about him. You must have it really bad.” 

“Yeah... “ And Shishido wasn’t talking about how bad his inability to share his feelings were. He had it bad for Oshitari. Like cliche love song bad. 

“Do you love Oshitari Yuushi, Shishido-san?” Ohtori finally asked. 

Shishido nodded without hesitation, even if he felt heat rise to his face. 

“No. You have to say it. Do you love Oshitari Yuushi?” 

“Y-yes,” Shishido spat out with only minor stuttering. 

Ohtori beamed at him and Shishido didn’t feel so embarrassed about this. 

“More than I could ever say,” Shishido added on. 

“Well, maybe that’s why you’re having troubles. You just haven’t found the words yet.” 

“What other words do I need besides I love you?” Shishido asked. He was sure that to his idiotically romantic boyfriend those three words were peak romance. 

Ohtori bit his lip, obviously he was unsure what else to say and Shishido couldn’t blame him. This had to be a lame and unusual problem. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out Shishido-san. If the words aren’t the problem, maybe you need to set the stage. Make it clear through your actions.” 

Shishido was about to object but then nodded. He did prefer doing to talking. And Oshitari was a giant romantic sap so if he broke out some of the cliches the guy would probably melt with giddiness and know what Shishido was trying to say even if Shishido blurted out something stupid instead. 

He hoped anyway. 

“Okay. So I’ll get some flowers and chocolates and put on some of that ridiculous sappy love songs he likes and just come out and say it,” Shishido said. 

Ohtori nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah. You can do it.” 

Shishido tried to imagine it and just as he was starting to feel confident that he could do this he realized that he really couldn’t. “Argh. I can’t. He’ll kill himself laughing before he even gets in the door if I try that.” Shishido let out a groan and sunk down onto the bench. 

“What? Why? It’d be sweet,” Ohtori said. 

“I’m not really the romantic gesture kind of guy, Choutarou. He’ll think I’m pranking him or that body snatchers got me or something. I mean… I do nice stuff for him… I’m not a loser,” Shishido hastily tacked on, warmth rising to his cheeks. He didn’t want Ohtori to think he was a bad boyfriend. But the sweet things he did was reluctantly agreeing to watch Pride and Prejudice, the BBC version, because apparently it was better than the movie… Shishido just knew that it was longer so he liked it less on principle. And he’d listen and respond in the right places when Oshitari waxed on about poetry and love stories. And he always remembered Oshitari’s birthday. But random flowers and chocolates? Not really his thing. 

“Of course you do. And if he doesn’t appreciate that you wanted to do something more for him when you’re going to confess your feelings then maybe you need a better boyfriend,” Ohtori said.

Ohtori had always been supportive of Shishido’s relationship with Oshitari so he was surprised to hear his friend say he should consider breaking up with him. “Wh-why would I do that?!” Oshitari being worried about his mental stability when he suddenly became a sappy romantic was a good thing in his books. 

“Because he should already know you love him. And if you want to show him just how much by doing something amazing for him and he doesn’t appreciate it then maybe he’s not good enough for you. You deserve someone amazing. Someone it’s easy to say I love you to.” Ohtori’s eyes were blazing with the same determined look he got when out on the courts. 

It was sweet that Ohtori wanted to protect him from a potentially bad boyfriend. But that was the last thing Oshitari was. 

“Now you think I can’t say how I feel because I subconsciously know he’s not good enough for me?” Shishido asked to make sure he had this right. 

“I’m running out of options, Shishido-san…” 

“Well that one is totally wrong and lame. I can’t say it because… well because I feel too much for him. I mean…. I say I love a ton of things. I love tennis, I love cheese, I love Star Wars, I love you and Gakuto and Jirou. I love my dog. But this isn’t all that. It’s Yuushi,” His voice cracked a little on Oshitari’s name and he balled his fists slightly to try to help him keep his emotions in check. He wasn’t angry at Ohtori. He was just frustrated that he really wasn’t a words kind of guy. I love you should be enough to say to Oshitari but they felt so inadequate. And at the same time they felt like the three most important words in the universe. 

“I’m sorry, Shishido-san,” Ohtori said and he reached out to rest a hand on Shishido’s shoulder. “I think I’ve reached the limit of my relationship advice. But maybe… maybe he can help you,” Ohtori’s voice was soft and soothing as usual but the pause in his talking and the direction Ohtori was looking in made him stiffen under his touch. 

Oh no. 

Maybe he was lucky and it was Jirou. Or Atobe. Or hell, he’d even take Taki right about now if it meant it wasn’t Oshitari Yuushi behind him. 

If he was lucky, a sinkhole would open up under him and swallow him whole. Or a giant earthquake would hit forcing them to flee for cover and pushing this conversation out of all of their minds. 

No such luck. The silence stretched on and since he hadn’t been magically struck down and he was no coward, Shishido turned to look behind him. 

“Yuushi…” 

“You don’t need to sound like I’m your death sentence,” Oshtiari somehow purred out and chuckled at the same time. 

Shishido’s heart skipped a beat at the sexy sound but he was still wishing that this was a death sentence because he wasn’t sure his face would ever be any other colour than the bright red it had to be right now. “How long h-”

“Long enough.” Oshitari glanced up at Ohtori and Ohtori squeezed his shoulder in encouragement before letting go. 

“I’ll just leave you the key and you can lock up when you’re done,” Ohtori said. He tried to pass the club room key to him but since he was still hoping that the world would implode, he gave up and handed it over to Oshitari as he passed by him. 

Ohtori paused in the doorway behind Oshitari and gave Shishido a thumbs up before leaving him and Oshitari alone. 

“I…” Shishido started and then stopped. He turned on the bench so he was straddling it and could better look at Oshitari without straining his neck. 

Oshitari prowled, for there really wasn’t a better word for it, to the bench and straddled it facing him. He reached up and brushed some hair from his face before gently cupping his cheek. 

Shishido leaned into the warm touch with a sigh. This was familiar and comfortable. 

“I know,” Oshitari said, his voice just above a whisper. It held none of the laughter or seductive teasing from before. 

“I will say it,” Shishido said. Somehow unable to say it right now despite Oshitari definitely hearing how he felt about him. 

“And I look forward to it. But your actions have always spoke louder than your words, Ryou.” 

Shishido nodded and brought his hand up to place over Oshitari’s on his face, relieved to have such a perfect boyfriend for him. 

“I love you, Shishido Ryou,” Oshitari said, his eyes reflecting his emotions as they stared at each other. 

Shishido’s heart didn’t just skip a beat at the words, it skipped about twenty before speeding up to double time. He opened his mouth to respond with something but when words refused to come out, he instead went with actions. He closed the gap between them and kissed Oshitari with as much tenderness and love as he could manage.

And when Oshitari responded and kissed back, Shishido felt warmth and happiness spread through him. Now, if a sinkhole swallowed him whole or even a minor quake interrupted this, he would be pissed. 

It wasn’t their typical inferno type of kiss that led to wandering hands and the desperate shedding of clothes. It was the slow burn type that made Shishido tingle from his head down to his toes. He would have said it was the type of kiss that made him swoon, but he was definitely not some girl in some old timey romantic movie that Oshitari made him watch. 

Shishido couldn’t say how long the kiss went on for but when their lips finally broke apart, they pressed their foreheads together and caught their breath, still caught up in the moment. 

“So much better than words, Ryou,” Oshitari said before kissing him again. 

 

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-End-


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